Same Same But Different

Today, I drove the same streets, walked through the same halls, up the same stairs, sat in the same rooms, saw the same people, but things were different...and I believe I'm better off for it.

Somewhere Else

Maybe in a different time and a different place, we could have been perfect for each other.

Mortality

"The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment might be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again." -Achilles from the movie Troy

The glory in doom. How many things would never go undone if we knew we could live forever?

I've recently talked to someone about younger adults finding out they have cancer. A friend's friend found out recently and only has til the end of the year. My other friend also found out and is coping with it now. I always ponder the question: If I was dying, would I want to know?

Cancer could be a blessing in disguise (not saying i want it), but it pushes you to take off your superficial sunglasses and SEE...you finally SEE what are truly the most important things in life. It pushes you to invest your time in the things that matter the most, to spend time with your friends and family and nourish your relationships, to travel and see what you've always wanted to see, do everything you've wanted to do, and just F everything else. I would want to know. I would want to know and spend my last moments doing everything I thought was truly worthwhile instead of pursuing the temporary.

"We're young, we'll live long, we have a long time"...It's when we take time for granted that we waste it.

We don't have forever...and we treasure everything much more because we don't have forever. It's nice to be human, to be mortal.

I challenge you today to do something you think is worthwhile.

Write

I want to write. I want to reflect. I want to think. I don't want to be a zombie going through the motions and tasks of the day, everyday, only a person that crosses tasks off her daily checklist. I want to be a person who lives and breathes and thinks and feels and cares and shares.

Back in the US

Hi everyone,

I just got back to the US on Sunday from Vietnam, and I'm currently staying at my family's place in Anaheim, CA (Southern CA below LA). Since then, I've attended Jury Duty (even with jet lag), helped out at my family's printing shop in Garden Grove, and visited the Bay Area. I'm actually still here (It was a spontaneous trip), and I'll probably be in the Bay Area until Saturday 9/12, so if anyone is interested in hanging out, please email me back or call me at (714) 829-8808.

I just graduated in May from UC Berkeley with a double major in Public Health and Psychology and now that I'm back from Vietnam, I've been applying to nursing schools (3 year program to become a Nurse Practitioner) and applying for jobs. If anyone knows of any jobs related to public health, community health or health education, especially in Southern CA (but I guess I can't afford to be picky), please let me know. I also have a resume if you can or would like to forward it for me.

My Experience In Vietnam
As for my experience in Vietnam, I was there on a 2 month language-intensive program called VASI (I highly recommend it). Attending Vietnames eclass everyday. I not only learned a lot of Vietnamese (language) but also learned morea bout the current social issues in Vietnam including laborers moving from the rural area to the country side, Vietnamese women marrying foreign men, sex education, governmental support for people with disabilities, and a lot more.

It's been a great experience, and I've gotten to talk to meet two awesome organizations and interview locals in Vietnam that has really given me a different perspective on Vietnam.
1) I learned about the medical system here by touring hospitals, talking to doctors and patients, etc.
2) I got the opportunity to meet children affected by HIV through an organization called Nụ Cười (Smile in Vietnamese). Some friends and I taught English to them, visited them, and took them to a zoo.
3) For my final project, I researched policies for people with disabilities in Vietnam. I was really inspired through my college job as a personal assistant for a student with muscular dystrophy. I met an awesome person who runs Cơ Sở Mùa Xuân (Spring in Vietnamese), an organization/home housing 30 females with disabilities. They provide a support system for each other, encouraging each other to be independent and self-sufficient and they help each other find a job. I met one amazing person in particular who swam in Parigames (like Olympics for people with disabilities in Southeast Asia) who trained so that she could fund her university education, majoring in English.
4) I also got to interview blind masseuses who studied at the School for the Blind.
5) I interviewed an HIV-infected patient and got to ask about the prevention and treatment methods there.

After the 2 months, I got to travel and hang out with friends. I'm truly grateful for this experience to go back, learn about and explore Vietnam through the VASI program, my teachers, my friends, and locals. Now I'm excited to be back in the US and reunite with friends and family.


Reply or call me and let me know what you're up to too!

HIV & Feminism

My teacher and I went in a hospital to talk to HIV patients. We talked to one. (On a side note, it was SO ODD to me that no one checked us in and we just freely walked in and picked a bed and random patient to talk to and even weirder that he was willing to answer our questions and share about his personal history. I guess one of the differences between US and Vietnamese culture.) He contracted HIV from "relations" which I assume to mean an extramarital affair or he hooked up with a prostitute.

His wife was with him and she didn't even wanna get checked! I told her she should really get checked. If I were her, I'd definitely be PISSED...one, because she might have HIV now and two, because he cheated on her and in the end, who is taking care of him? her. I guess I'm especially irritated because it seems like such a NORM for Vietnamese men to do...extramarital affairs or prostitutes (variations of...massage, at a bar, at a cafe shop, comes with beer, on the street)...a sign of manhood. And women in Vietnam are expected to take it like their grandmothers, their mothers, their sisters, and their neighbors...they all take it. Vietnamese women are PRAISED for their sacrifices...for the crap they have to put up with. Just in Malaysia, a Vietnamese women who was in Malaysia to work told me about how her husband would beat her several times a day and she still stayed for the kids. Finally it seemed like he was trying to kill her and with advice from her daughter, she finally left.

I asked him how he knew to get checked. He had a fever that wouldn't go away and then he went into the hospital and got several scans that seemed ok and finally they checked his blood. This particular hospital in Saigon (or this particular building) is for HIV patients when they turn bad...like their health is taking a turn for the worse. Otherwise, they should just be taking their medicine regularly outside of the hospital. I was most curious about prevention. Did he know how to protect himself? He said no, and he also said he didn't think enough...I'm not sure what that answer means. I asked him about sex education in school...he didn't go to school. He worked in the rural areas, and a lot of poor children or children in rural areas stop going to school. What I did read about sex education in VN though is that it's very biologically based and hard to understand. I also asked him now that he knows he is infected, has anyone told him what to do to protect others. He said nope, they just give him medicine a couple times a day. That's terrible. That information is CRUCIAL!

I was talking to one of my other teachers...his wife is part of an organization that counsels HIV patients...I am planning to call to see how I can help. Health education is SO SO important and part of this situation breaks my heart because that knowledge is a privilege that I often take for granted as a Public Health major but important knowledge that they didn't have.

Medical system in VN

I've made an active effort to learn more about the medical system here.

My doctor friend took me on a tour of the hospital and answered my questions (when I volunteered to teach English in SF, one of my students turned out to be a doctor in Saigon...crazy where connections can take you).

So I always think the doctors in America don't give each patient enough time. Vietnamese doctors are seeing about 20 patients an hour. I was like....what the???! How is that possible unless they walk in and out the door. Also, each hospital has another floor for people who are willing to pay more...the floor isn't amazing. There's still a bunch of beds in one room and all the patients can see each other..and those are the good rooms. They said that if they had money, they would also have curtains like in America. The emergency room is just a big room with a bunch of beds and sick or injured people laying on it waiting to be seen or pushed into the appropriate department.

Health insurance is given only to the selected few...health care providers automatically have it. Right now health care insurance in Vietnam is all public, but according to the doctor I talked to, only 30% of the population have it...it's really hard to get it, even if you have money. Furthermore, right now they are trying to switch to universal health care insurance.

Abortion is legal here and seems to be done pretty frequently...for younger girls (under 18), they need parental consent...but not really. Money solves all, and it's such a taboo here that the doctor will just do it anyway rather than make the girl deal with family reputation and such being lost. One of my Vietnamese friends (a few years older than me) says a lot of her friends have gotten pregnant and gotten abortions already.

That's pretty much all I know for now.

Trường Nguyễn Định Chiểu- school for the blind

Viết về cuộc sống của một người khiếm thị mà bạn đã gặp, trờ chuyện và cảm nghĩ của bạn sau chuyến đi.

Hôm qua, em đã cuối cùng được hưởng thụ được massage toàn thân ở trường Nguyễn Định Chiểu. Tên nhân viên mà tôi phỏng vắn là Kim Việt. Cô ấy kể cho em biết là đa số người ở Trương Nguyễn Định Chiểu bị bênh sởi khi con nhỏ và hậu quả là bị mù. Vì người Việt Nam thời đó quan niệm rằng có bệnh sởi thì không nên đi bác sĩ (em quên lý do chính xác), cô và nhiều người cùng lưới tuổi cô ấy không chữa trị kiệp thời trở nên mù. Đay là một điều rất đáng tiếc. Vì không có đủ kiến thức và giáo dục trong ngành y tế, cuộc sống của bao nhiêu đứa em bị biến đổi, thế giới của họ trở thành đen tối mãi mãi.

Cô Kim Việt sống chung với người chồng khiếm thị và một con gái và nhận là “người như chúng cố không dám có nhiều con.” Em thấy đây là điều đáng buồn nhưng cũng thực tế. Thêm nữa, phản ứng của em ngạc nhiên khi em nghe về gia đình hoàn chỉnh của Cô Kim Việt. Em tưởng là người khiếm thị sẽ rất khó có thể lập gia đình nhưng đa số nhân viên ở đó đều có gia đình riêng của họ. Nói cách khác, người khuyết tật nào vẫn là con người cần sự yêu thương và chăm sóc.

Trong quá trình massage, em đã hỏi cố ấy rất nhiều câu hỏi. Cố ấy nói cho em biết là nhân viên khiếm thị thường dùng cây gậy nếu nhà gần chỗ làm. Nếu xa thì đi xe ôm. Băng qua đường thì cần người dắt đi. Cô ấy nghĩ rằng Việt Nam quả thực thiếu thốn thiết bị cho người khuyết tật, nhất là trong những chỗ công cộng. Tuy như vậy, cô ấy tỏ là họ vẫn phải tiếp tục phấn đấu liệu chính phủ có hổ trợ hay không. Họ không có lựa chọn nào khác vì họ phải tộn tại. Em thấy chính sách cho người khuyết tật ỏ Mỹ không được thực hiện hoàn hảo lấm nhưng khi em so sánh với Việt Nam, em biết là Việt Nam đã thất bại hơn Mỹ nhiều trong lễnh vực này. So sánh hai nước thì em tự nhiên thấy Mỹ có nhiều thiết bị cho người khuyết tật.

Người khuyết tật thường bị coi như một phế vật chỉ có nương tựa vào người ta làm gánh nặng cho gia đình. Trái lại, em thấy là dậy người khuyết tật cách để tự sinh sống sẽ giúp họ đống góp vào cộng đồng, thay vì làm một gánh nặng cho xã hội. Trường Nguyễn Đình Chiểu ra một trường rất cần thiết dậy cách cho người khiếm thị để hòa nhập vào xã hội. Hơn nữa, các học sinh cũng biết ơn. Cô Kim Việt nghĩ rằng trường Nguyễn Định Chiểu rất “đáng yêu.” Mùa hè thì những học sinh được thăm nhà cũng vẫn nhớ trường. Cô ấy học thế nào để hòa nhập vào xã hội từ trường này. Cô ấy cũng trả lời là thích việc làm của mình vì đó phủ hợp với khả năng của cô ấy.

Em để ý những nhân viên ở Nguyễn Đình Chiểu rất lạc quan, suốt ngày cười, nói, và tám với nhau. Suy nghĩ lạc quan là một phương pháp tôn tại mà em rất tôn trọng mặc dù đời sống họ đầy kho khăn. Họ vẫn giữ sự lạc quan cộng với các ước mơ để sống một cách vui vẻ hạnh phúc.

The truth of war

I've been to a couple museums here and at the War Remnants Museum, it's disgusting how biased the museum is (highlighting what America has done to Vietnam), but it's also disgusting what truth there is to what they say. In Vietnam, they call it the "American War."

America has committed some atrocities on the country, some massacres, threw bombs on civilians... Every war has damages on both sides, especially the country that the battles are occurring. All these horror stories unheard and unsaid but done nonetheless. The morale: you can sacrifice a few for the greater good...but how many people are sacrificed, to what degree, and is it even worth it in the end?

At the museum, I saw massacre, I saw war injuries, but the most scary thing was fetuses...Agent Orange. Fetuses (I don't know if these are real or not but they were definitely life-size) in a clear glass box floating in what looks like that chemical that are used to preserve cadavers (can't remember the name right now...I didn't do that well in Anatomy class). Effects of Agent Orange included fetus malformations, miscarriages, cancer, so many long-term effects.

This makes me wonder what America is doing in Iraq. I still remember reading a research article in Epidemiology class--before the war and during the war...violent crimes in Iraq has multiplied by several times.

At the museum, I read this article about an American pilot who refused to bomb the country because throwing that many bombs will for sure miss targets and hit civilians. My teacher told me today about women who would have to repair the streets, especially the street going from the South to the North because the South was providing provisions/food for the North, and these women would have to count the bombs that were dropped and the bombs that exploded and subtract bombs exploded from bombs dropped and then memorize those spots and mark them with a flag for bomb specialists to come. What a horrifying job.

So the funny thing about this day was I had my Xe Om (motorbike) driver come in with me. They usually just drive you places but I told him to come in with me and so we checked out the museum together. I asked him when he was born (he was 1 year old during the war), and I asked him what Vietnamese people thought about Americans. He said just normal...a lot has changed since the war. He doesn't seem to be biased against Americans at all. I remember when I first came to Hanoi, I was scared that Vietnamese people wouldn't like me because I'm from America. An analogy crossed my mind...I've been watching Chinese movies and this guy kills this little girl's family and then takes her and raises her to be a killer...and the girl is constantly conflicted because is this guy the enemy or the savior. But yea, this analogy's not that appropriate...it's a lot more complicated than that...I think....

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

Does the end justify the means?

Hanoi vs. Saigon

My teacher said that Saigon is like America, and Hanoi is like Great Britain. Hanoi is the capital, and they have their own vocabulary there, but they purely use theirs, whereas in the South, they use both their local vocabulary as well as the northern vocabulary because it is shown on TV and often thought as the more "correct (chuẩn)" accent. In the US, we actually use both American English and British English words like "either"(E-ther) and "either" (I-ther) and a bunch of other words that I don't really notice but my teacher pointed out. Anyway, for this reason, I really like learning Vietnamese in the South, especially since I see it as being much more applicable in the US.

I think of HCMC like LA and Hanoi like San Francisco. HCMC- the more trendier city, the more booming city, more open to business around the world, foreigners are not uncommon. Hanoi- the more romantic city with lakes and trees, the gap between rich and poor a little less apparent here, a booming city but not as much as HCMC.

So I noticed a key difference between the way I'm treated in Hanoi and Saigon. I am not ripped off in Saigon for being a foreigner NEARLY AS MUCH as in Hanoi. This may be because Saigon is pretty open doors and has a lot more foreigners here. (Side story: One of my teachers said that during the war, the North sent spies to the South and the South sent spies to the North, but in the North they found the spies yet in the South, they couldn't tell and it was very easy for the spies to immerse themselves in there. He said this is because the South is so open to other people coming in and so they can't tell, but in the North, they are very aware of outsiders.) Another reason, and this was so weird to me...in Saigon, they look at me and think I'm Vietnamese. One time I said "no thank you" to this guy and he asked me why I'm speaking English if I'm Vietnamese. I answered because I'm from America. (Well it was also because he was speaking English to my white friend.) SO SO ODD. In Hanoi, I experienced the complete opposite. They knew from the way I walked, dressed, I dunno what...even before I opened my mouth...that I was not from Vietnam...and if I did talk, it was a dead giveaway. In Hanoi, I was so aware that I was American. In Saigon, after talking to me for a while, people will figure I'm from somewhere else...possibly another province in Vietnam and sometimes they think another country because my Vietnamese is "lớ lớ" which kinda means not concrete...that's the best way I can explain it for now.

Privilege- among the many thoughts in my head

Everyday here, it becomes more obvious to me how privileged I am. In class, we learn about laborers from rural areas immigrating to the city to make a living and in Malaysia, I learned that they even go abroad just to send money home to their families and pay for their children's schooling. I also learned about people who commute to the city for hours to sell their products in the city and then commute back to their rural community at night just to start the day all over again. When I bought my bag of jackfruit, I confirmed it. The lady who sold it to me wakes up early in the morning and takes a 2 hour commute by bus to HCMC to arrive by 9am and then gets home by 11pm and starts the day all over again everyday. If I had that kind of lifestyle, I would go crazy. And then where do you find meaning in your life? Or when it comes to that point, are you just living for your family, hoping that you can provide so that they can have a better future? But doesn't it just become a viscious cycle? Living away, you don't get the same opportunities and the same quality education as they do in the city...and the government hasn't provided these opportunities yet to even out the playing field.

There is SO much emphasis on education here. It's a business like in America. "Nhất sĩ, nhì nông." The Vietnamese society highly values people who earn money using their knowledge rather than their hands. Historically, education has been a way for the poor to rise out of poverty, but there are so many challenges to it. They are short on money and time. Today, we had to discuss whether the education in VN is WORTHY for poor people to strive to it. In Vietnam, students are trained to repeat and recite, not to make their own thoughts or question others. It's a shame because one's ability to critically analyze and use that skill outside of school becomes repressed. I also didn't realize how much of a luxury it was to be able to take out loans to go to school. It gives children from poorer families the opportunity to compete in higher education if they have this skills. I've been reading articles full of parents sacrificing their everything, selling their land, separating from their family in the rural area to take their other child to the city to take the test to get into college (It reminds me of the SATs). They also have centers that charge a lot (like SAT classes) to help students review for the test in a cramped room and some provide housing. We may get to interview the parents who are waiting outside during the test taking since it happens in July and I'll still be here.

Corruption. Worried about points and scores, and teachers try to find the test topics to teach it to their students so that they themselves will have a good track record of their students making it into college. This reminds me of California...the fact that we worry so much about the standardized testing scores and teach based on it so that students can score well and the school will receive more funding.

I'm enjoying the people here so far. I've got to talk to one person in the program on a deeper level than the rest, and I'm glad to have gotten closer to someone here. I was called, "poetic" and "super easy to talk to"....very flattered by the compliment. It's always good to reflect and be introspective. Anyway, he invited me out with his family and they were super duper nice, and we came to this "tourist village" that was beautiful...had awesome scenery. It's a place often used to film movies and videos, but when you contrast the place we were at to the buildings we saw on the way....worn down, dirty apartment buildings floors high...I'm reminded of the drastic disparity within the city. You get the best and worst of Vietnam here.

I see prostitutes all around me, younger Vietnamese women with older foreigners. Vietnamese women--one of the famous commodities sold worldwide...the unfortunate truth. But when you're in poverty and want to change your life and the lives of your family, there are not that many options. What about when all the girls around you are striving to marry foreigners?...the thing to do in some provinces. Taiwanese men come on a tour to Rach Gia to pick out their brides and they line up for them to pick. I always wonder what decision I would make in that situation. I never had to make it.

Privilege--being able to make choices, being allowed to pursue what you want, being able to travel to any country you want, being able to go to school without disruption, being able to work for experience and extra money and not necessity, being able-bodied even, being able to exchange your money for a lot more of the other country's money. Those are the kind of privileges I have.

Mommy's lullaby

We discussed "ca dao" today, which I would explain in English as poetry of the Vietnamese culture. We talked about how parents sing these poems to their children to sleep and we also got serenaded by our teachers. Then I had vague memories of my mom also singing me to sleep and I could only remember a couple of words she sang and I searched for it online. This is what my Mommy used to sing to me to sleep when I was little:

Àu ơi, ví dầu cầu ván đóng đinh,
Cầu tre lắc lẻo gập ghềnh khó đi. (Bamboo bridge gets shaky and difficult to cross)
Khó đi mẹ dắt con đi (difficult to go, I'll hold your hand(/help you) to cross)
Con đi trường học, mẹ đi trường đời (You go to school, I go to the school of life).

Rough translation...I'll look up some words later.

VASI and EAP Family

I recently got moved from VASI 2 (intermediate) to VASI 3 (advanced). I'm learning a lot more and being more challenged and I'm really happy with the change.
Anyway, yesterday, I stayed longer to get my catch-up homework. I was expecting to just grab a quick bite to eat by myself and then run some errands, but as I exited the building, I saw almost the whole group waiting there still. They were waiting for me. That was so...touching and sweet...They care about me. ^_^

VASI program learning Vietnamese...awesome. Tutoring is great...very helpful. I get to practice speaking and learn about Vietnamese society as well as share about American society. I learned about insurance in Vietnam today. I didn't even know they had insurance, but they do...retirement, life, social (including health and workers comp), and car/motorbike but the system's not that great.

I hope to get closer to people individually and learn a lot from them.

Thuy and Tammy and Tammy's sister, Tina, was in town so we hung out and went to bars. ^_^

Vietnamese & Vietnam

Yesterday, we had a scavenger hunt. It was fun. We got 300.000 VND to find 5 places, buy some fruits and banh with "u" and "ư." We got sầu riêng, bánh chưng, măng cụt, dứa, bưỡi. Ưe also had to interview people and take down information and create a presentation for the next day. Very clever, engaging, interactive, and gives the students ownership (I think a lot about teaching styles). However, I was surprised at how resistant some people were to answer our questions. We found out that they thought we were from competing companies. Also, employees from large companies don't want to take responsibility for saying something wrong.

I'm super impressed with the Vietnamese Language Studies school and how organized and prepared they are. The lessons are really engaging and they also rotate teachers which keeps the class stimulating. We got readers today and multiple agendas. We did an activity where she had cut out the vocab words, and another activity where she taped questions around the room. Very engaging, and I'm very excited to improve my Vietnamese. We took a placement test yesterday and I got placed in the intermediate class, VASI 2. I did pretty well on the written test, so I'm pretty sure it was the oral part that brought me down. That's the thing I want to work on the most...being able to speak in Vietnamese naturally without thinking too much.

People in the program are mostly grad students. I'm the second to youngest out of 12 participants, my roommate being the youngest. I'm excited to talk to them, hear their stories, absorb their lessons, and experience things with them. They all seem like a great bunch. Also, a HUGE MAJORITY seem to be taken...married, engaged, bf/gf, seeing someone. However, we don't go out as much like I did in EAP. Our rooms are on different floors...I finally compiled a list today of who is in what room. I'd like to hang out with them more to get to know them, but at the same time, they all have their own lives writing papers, dissertations, Skyping with boofaces, and I wanna respect that.

I want to explore more of the city on my own to get a map in my head of the surrounding area. Right now, I feel like I'm wasting a lot of precious time in Vietnam in the hotel room when I could be talking to locals and practicing my speaking skills and exploring more of the city, but not sure how to approach it yet. All on my to-do list.

I find that I am still careless with my words. Or rather...I think it and I speak it instead of thinking of a better way to say it. Advice from my businesswoman mom. Still I catch myself every now and then just bluntly saying things that don't seem like the best things to say in that situation...I could have thought it over more.

1st Dinner with VASI

Today, I had my first dinner with VASI folks. It was a nice big fancy dinner with 11 strangers who are going to be my classmates and 6 teachers, a field director, and an administrator. It totally reminded me of EAP when we used to have our huge, too huge for us, dinners, sitting next to a bunch of strangers who have become family to me. With those memories and that experience in mind, I'm super excited to start this program. It feels like a second EAP all over again.

I miss EAP VN 07. : ( We're continents away.

June 13-14: The "American Experience"- WTF?!

So at Kuala Lumpur, this taxi driver took me and this other person so we could split the car. He was already trying to persuade me to go to Kuala Lumpur and check out the city center. I said no, just drop me off at the airport. That was normal. Taxi drivers get commission for bringing people to hotels. Then after he dropped her off, he started asking me stuff about America being open. "I heard America is really open. Is it true that people can have babies without being married?" I was like "yea, doesn't that happen everywhere?" He said it couldn't happen in Malaysia. A child of unwed parents won't be able to register and receive the benefits of a citizen. Then he asked me about the average age of the first time people start having sex in America. Then he asked me if I wanted to come over to his place, just shower off, and he'll drive me back in the morning. Are you f'n crazy? He said he wanted the "American experience." I'm sure the mother of his 4 kids would appreciate that. Then we were pretty close to the airport terminal and he was asking me if I was scared. Of course, I'm f'n scared. You could have driven me anywhere! I said no, and I just wanna get to the airport. I initially was gonna bargain with him for 15 ringets, but F that...you can have my 20 ringets...I just wanna get the hell outta your car. The perks of traveling alone as a woman. I have come to the conclusion that people around the world assume American women are easy sluts. I still remember when I went to Vietnam and we had a white woman on our program and they treated her like she was gonna sleep with them or something, but we, looking Asian and all, never got that treatment. Anyway...my final reaction is WTF?!

June 13-14: Hoàng Yến Adventure #3 + Leaving Penang

Hoàng Yến Adventure #3: Penang National Park
Hiked for what felt like a long time...maybe 2 or 3 hours? Treacherous!...totally nature. It was exhausting. I usually don't wanna turn around, but I was so tired by the middle, and everyone kept saying half an hour more. That was NOT half an hour more. Anyway, we got to the Canopy Walkway, some beach that I can't remember, and Monkey Beach with white sand and monkeys in the trees...a lot of them. Monkey Beach was so far, but worth the trip. James suffered an injury along the way. We boated back. :D I was a happy camper that day...a tired, exhausted, fulfilled happy camper.



Bye bye, Penang!
Yesterday, I left Penang, and I wouldn't say I miss it as much as the people I met and the love I felt when I was there. They even kept me company at the airport until it was close to time for me to leave. Acts like that are so touching.

June 11: Domestic Abuse

I interviewed more workers today. Counter-productive to the mission of anti-labor trafficking, but some of the workers feel it is easier working in Malaysia than farming in Vietnam, depending on the department they get put in. One woman went in-depth into her life with her husband and how their marriage was good for 10 years. Then he started beating her, locking her up and beating her several times a day. She stayed with him for the kids, and her first thought was her kids. Selfless...so selfless. Finally her oldest child urged her to stop thinking for them and to take care of herself first. 10 days after this lady went to Malaysia, the man remarried. She went into more details but I just keep thinking how can someone be so selfless and how can someone else be so uncaring and insensitive and I just don't get it....how do you have it in your heart to hurt someone you've been with for over 10 years?

June 10: More interviews

I continued interviewing workers today (actually, I videotaped), and I've realized that many of the laborers are from rural areas as farmers. I had read that but just to see case after case of workers coming from rural areas makes me realize how prevalent it is. Most have to take loans just to pay the broker to become a guest worker. After all, their financial conditions have to be pretty bad in the first place to want to become a guest worker. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and all of them seem to be desperately trying to find a way out of poverty. By working abroad in a foreign country in which they don't speak the language or know the people, they are hoping to make more money than they invested in for the loans and change the course of their future for them and their families.

Silly Goose by Nguyen Hoang James

This is my present for volunteering. ^_^

Human Trafficking

Two years ago, I helped out with a panel put on by an anti-sex-trafficking organization called Stop the Traffick at UC Berkeley. Through this event, I was exposed to the atrocities of the sex trafficking industry in the US and the many myths that came with it.

This pushed me to research sex trafficking specifically in Vietnam for a class project, and I learned how at risk of trafficking many Vietnamese women are, especially poor women in rural areas. In a situation with such little resources, women are forced to use their most precious commodity, themselves, to sell for a high price in order to change the course of their futures as well as piously take care of their parents. I think about women in those desperate types of situations, and I shamefully think about the times when I thought my life sucked because I had two finals and a paper due in the same week. My friend once said that if that’s all I have to worry about, then my life is really good. He’s right.

Since I was headed to Vietnam for VASI and had a close friend working in Malaysia at the Penang Office of the Coalition to Abolish Modern Day Slavery (CAMSA), an anti-human-trafficking organization, I wanted to stop by to visit him and volunteer at the organization.

I got to Penang, Malaysia a few days ago. Yesterday, I was introduced to the office and the staff. I learned that the goal of this CAMSA office is human trafficking, yet practically all of their cases have been labor-related cases because it's easier for laborers to contact the office, and because sex trafficking is organized crime and it gets complicated. Labor trafficking was not what I was familiar with, but I was definitely excited to learn about it.

I’ve been working on a powerpoint to train people about human trafficking and CAMSA. I found out that the majority of human trafficking cases are labor trafficking cases, but sex trafficking definitely gets more media attention. Just talking to people, I have heard that the majority of Vietnamese people in Malaysia are laborers. Vietnam, the source country, exports workers to Malaysia, the destination country. Continuing research for the powerpoint, I found out that Vietnam’s policy, Eradicate Hunger and Reduce Poverty Program, strongly encouraged workers to work abroad and send money home. When problems arise with Vietnamese workers abroad, Vietnamese officials will even come over to the destination country and solve the problem in order to guarantee the quality of their product (their workers). This can mean threatening the workers or even physically abusing them into submission so that they will return to work. It saddens me that Vietnamese citizens are treated by their own people as dispensable tools to build up Vietnam’s economy rather than dignified human beings.

Tonight, I joined two staff members to interview Vietnamese laborers. With my Vietnamese-American Vietnamese skills (not the best), I caught only about 65% of what she was saying, especially with her different accent. However, I could see her frustration at her work place. Racial tensions and language barriers prevent her from speaking up. All she wants to do is make money to send her children to school in Vietnam yet she gets jipped left and right as others blame her constantly for problems within the factory. She takes it because that’s all she can do and with her Vietnamese, she cannot communicate to the people who run the show. She accepts it as fate and just tries to work a little harder to earn enough money.

“Lives that flash in sunshine, and lives that are born in tears, receive their hue from circumstances.” -Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriet Ann Jacobs

June 7-8: Penang, Malaysia plus work at CAMSA

I bought a card reader. I can post pictures now.

I've been listening to this: Songs from a Secret Garden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPl1ZnKfWA0&feature=related

Life in Malaysia. Humid and hot. It's not as modernized as I thought it would be. I forgot how great traveling was. It's one thing to travel within the US, but when you travel outside the US, it's a CHALLENGE. Free housing is ALWAYS a plus. Everyday is a new learning and growing experience, and everytime you don't understand what is said or what is happening, you ask and you grow and you learn a little more about the people of the world. I've really enjoyed hanging out with his friends and just talking to them. They are Vietnamese students who are going to school here in Penang. Only 3 Vietnamese students in the whole school. They all speak the Northern accent. It's funny because we'll think of hard words for each other in English and Vietnamese and then laugh at the language barriers and how poorly we can pronounce it. haha.
I was talking to HaTuyen yesterday and she said that now she feels like if she doesn't volunteer or help out in some way when she's traveling, it's kinda a waste...that's a thought.


I noticed that they really try to save energy here...that's a lot more than I could say for the States. The longer plugs I've seen have switches for on and off, so you could be using one out of five of them and only one of them will be turned on instead of all 5 (In the US, we only have one switch for the whole thing). Another thing about this house in particular is that one light will light up two places, like one light lights up the shower and the bathroom (cuz they are outdoors). Like Vietnam, there is a heater switch to heat up your water so you don't have to waste energy heating it up all the time when how many hours are you actually using the water. Little things like that...save energy A LOT, especially when you multiply it by numbers of days and hours.

His place doesn't have a washer machine, but he says everyone else in this neighborhood does. The company should buy them one. We hand washed our clothes yesterday. Pain in the back. How much we take for granted.

Also, something interesting to me is that...well in Vietnamese and some other Asian languages, we address people by their relation to us. In Malaysia, the main languages are English and Bahasa Melayu (Malaysian language). I hear James talk to people (and others do it too)- "Hi Uncle," "Hi Auntie," "Hi Brother ___." I thought it was kinda funny. It reminds me of when I used to watch the kung fu movies with English subtitles...always didn't seem right haha.

Yesterday, I was introduced to working in the CAMSA (Coalition to abolish modern day slavery) office in Malaysia, which is just the bottom of James's place (his bedroom is on the 2nd floor). Here in Malaysia, there are a significant number of Malaysian locals, Chinese (who helped expand the economy here), Vietnamese (who are usually laborers), and South Asians. Although the goal of this CAMSA office is human trafficking, most of their cases are labor-related cases because it's easier for laborers to contact the office, and also sex trafficking is organized crime and it gets complicated. Right now, I'm working on a slideshow on human trafficking and CAMSA. It's a lot smaller than I thought it was: 3 people, 3 desks. They told me how their duties are split up and what kind of cases they work on. I'm going to get to interview workers tomorrow. Yay.


I'm also trying to speak more Vietnamese while I'm here.

So, James told me to go out to the taxi driver to tell him to wait, and I went outside and said "Chu, cho mot ti" (Please wait a little bit in Vietnamese), and James started cracking up and he yelled out, "In English!" I forgot their main languages are English and Bahasa Melayu, not Vietnamese. Silly me. It's so weird because a lot of this place reminds me of Vietnam.

June 6: First Day in Penang, Malaysia

Walked around Malaysia. Ate. Reminds me of Thai and Laotian food.

Bahasa Malaysian = Malaysian Language
Nasi = rice
Ayam = chicken
Daging = beef
Sotong = squid
that's all I remember for now.

So hot and humid. We were walking along the beach and we were both DRIPPING with sweat. My sweat was raining on my forehead and my arms. I felt like people were looking at us...possibly because we were creating our own rain, but whatevs...haha. My body's not used to the temperature.

Hoàng Yến Adventure #2 (#1 in Phu Quoc, VN)- Batu Feranghi (sp?) (supposedly the best beach in Georgetown, Penang
So James took me to this beach and of course being him, he wanted to go to these large rocks in the water and climb up. Getting there through water, I fell on a rock and got pushed over by a little wave. By the time, we emerged on the other side on those rocks, I had some cuts on my hands, my arm, my thigh, my foot. They stung, but whatever. Like he always says, "You're already here!" so I was game to continue climbing. Fun. Sandals were slippery, but the barnacles (sp?) on the rocks hurt if you didn't wear slippers but they were near the lower rocks only. Also, I learned stuff about tides (coming in 4 hour sessions and high tide/low tide and how you should watch it before you decide to go out to some rocks in the water). We made it kinda far but didn't make it to the top because then we would have to go down to this rock with a whole bunch of bat droppings on it, and we could also hear the bats under flying under the rocks so we came back and climbed some rocks on the sand side and just hung out and talked. Always an adventure with him.

"You can have potential all your life but if you never realize it, what will that amount to?" -James Hoang Nguyen (Yea EAPers, he does say things that makes sense sometimes!)

Then we bargained for some sunglasses and cases and got both of ours including cases for 65RM, $18.50 for BOTH.

The toilet in James's place...when you flush, water comes into the toilet as well as out on the ground and then goes into this gutter...he says it's clean water but I should wear sandals. It's so odd.

I knocked out at the end of the day. So so tired.

June 5-6: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

I could feel the humidity immediately as I stepped off the plane. Malaysia.

KL was frustrating for me because:

A. The airport I came into wasn't the terminal I was leaving from to go to Penang. Had to get a taxi to go to the other terminal, which I knew already but finding the right price was kinda hard.

B. It was hard to communicate with people, especially the airport workers because their English was often limited and my Bahasa Malaysian was non-existent. They kept pointing me back and forth.
I also met some Vietnamese people...a lot in fact. I didn't realize how many Vietnamese people there were in Malaysia. A lot come over for work. They pointed me in a certain direction too. They were nice to me though. They didn't understand my Vietnamese at first...well when I woke up at least they didn't understand me...:( Then they understood after while. I totally understood them...blow to the self-esteem.


C. my luggage was overweight (as usual right?). I should have weighed it before and bought the extra. It was no problem through international flights. The only thing is I was about to fly a domestic flight from Kuala Lumpur to Penang, the island my friend lives on, and for a domestic flight, the baggage allowance is CONSIDERABLY LESS. I had a big luggage and a little luggage. To check-in the big luggage had to be 15kg (what I bought on the plane ticket...could have upgraded it but I didn't...poor planning on my part...didn't weigh my luggage). Mine was close to 23kg. The little luggage to bring on the plane was supposed to be only 7kg. Mine was 11kg. I moved as much stuff over to my little luggage and stored it at the airport for 7 days for 70 Malaysian Ringets, which comes to about $21. I also had to pay EXTRA because the luggage I was checking in was STILL overweight at 19kg, so I paid 60MR for that, about $17. Plus, I had some of my friend's stuff that I needed to give to him like four packets of beef jerky, a costco pack of gum, and some other junk. But even without that coming back, I think my luggage will still be oveweight, so I will probably call in and upgrade it for my flight back.

D. I was frustrated with my luggage weight problem ALREADY and then a WOMAN CUTS IN FRONT OF ME IN LINE! That really irked me but then she said something and I didn't understand, and it seemed like she didn't understand me either...although I'm pretty sure she said that her flight was soon (and so was mine!...I saw her, we were on the same flight), so she cut. So irksome but whatever I just let her go. She was fast about it.

E. I got to KL at 10pm and the flight to Penang was at 6:55am, so I tried to sleep and only managed about 2 or 3 hours of sleep. It wasn't no Seoul Airport and I tried many different positions.
By close to 3am, I just stayed up for the rest of the time talking to the Vietnamese people behind me. They thought I was Thai at first.

Finally got to Penang's airport the next morning, and James was on time waiting for me. Well, he was sitting down and watching me for a while seeing what I would do and I sat down and didn't see him. It wasn't until I walked outside that he finally came up to me. What a jerk, but I was definitely glad he was on time, and everything was good after that. :)

June 5: Seoul, Korea Airport CONTINUED

As fancy as the airport was, I was 8 hours into the layover, and I was SUPER BORED! I ate, I slept, I went online and wrote an update, but still I had TIME! Finally, I MET a friend who I could communicate too! Yay!!!

Her nickname was Polly, and she was from Hong Kong, going to Cairo, Egypt. How cool is that? Her boyfriend would meet her up in Egypt later but she had left first. Her English was really good. She also spoke Cantonese, and so did a some of the workers in the airport. So I guess at the airport, they are super trying to promote Korean culture, and there were at least 3 or 4 of these Korean Cultural Heritage Sites where you can do activities that are related to Korean culture for free and they highly encourage it. Well, Polly and I were watching this pair play the flute and the ....don't remember what it's called. It has a lot of strings on it, and they are plucked, and the woman who was playing it was playing chords while the flute was mostly playing the melody. The string instrument reminds me of the Vietnamese instrument (maybe it's the same) called the Dan Tranh. They were playing a song called Secret Garden, which was very beautiful I found the song on YouTube: Song from a Secret Garden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPl1ZnKfWA0&feature=related). Then when they asked if the audience wanted to try (there were only 4 of us sitting down), Polly and I were the only ones who were willing to try and they handed us a "Korean flute" called something that starts with a T, but unfortunately I don't remember. It was ours to take home too...again, extremely trying to promote Korean culture.

Turns out Polly and I BOTH had 12 hour layovers and BOTH had 4 hours left! It was like we were meant for each other...hahaha. So then we tried on Korean clothing together, made fans together, did this blank ink art together (I wish I was better at remembering foreign names, but I'm not), and just looked around the airport and at the other Korean Cultural Heritage Sites. Good times. We exchanged emails and eventually departed at our gates.

While hanging out together, we also met a Filipino guy from Oakland and another guy from Delhi, India going to Tokyo.

P.S. I will post pictures when I figure out a way how to load them to my computer. I don't have the chord that connects the camera to the laptop. My friend calls it "product lock-in" because Sony purposely makes their things specific to their products so that the standard wire doesn't fit or work to connect it to the laptop. I'm hoping that someone in VASI (the program I'm going to in VN) has a Sony camera. Sorry folks for now.

June 5: Seoul, Korea Airport

Hi everyone,
Right now I'm at Seoul, Korea for a transfer point to go to Malaysia. I'll be here for about 12 hours :-(...10 now. This is THE BEST transfer airport EVER!...except that they're not open yet because it's 5am here. But they have a rest and relax room, a massage room, wireless internet, other computers with internet, a news/movie room, etc. Also, the escalators don't just run. They sense you pass and then they start up...crazy huh?

I'm a little nervous about traveling alone, so hopefully I see James in Malaysia soon, but so far so good. This airport is nice. I was thinking about leaving the airport and exploring because I have 10 hours to kill but I don't know how far I could walk away from the airport and I'm scared of problems with getting back in, so I think I'll just roam around here and use its fascinating facilities and ammenities. Once I get to Kuala Lumpur, I have to spend the night there because I get there at 10pm-ish and the next flight out to Penang (the island James is on) doesn't leave til 6:55am. SO SO MUCH TIME AT THE AIRPORT.

My laptop doesn't fit the plugs here, so I'll probably switch to the computers soon.

English is definitely a privilege to speak...for some reason, everyone has to learn it as its the international language or something, and when I speak English to people whose native language is obviously something else, they still know a little English, enough to converse with me, so it makes it easier to get around. Flight attendants, other passengers, etc.

Ok that's all. I'm alive and well...and hungry, so I will eat the food my Mommy packed for me. K I'll keep you all posted!