Love Series Part 1: Have you ever been in love before?

"How many times have you been in love?"

My friend answered something along the lines of this: At the time, I thought I was in love every time I said it, but over time, my definition of love has changed. Now looking back, I've really only been in love once.

Funny this concept of romantic love.

In middle school, I had a big crush on this guy. I looked forward to chatting with him on AIM everyday. I felt like I could confide in him and he made me laugh. Because of him, I looked forward to school and looked forward to going home. To me, that was love...the you're-the-reason-I-live-and-go-to-school type of love.

In high school, I met an older guy and chatted with him over AIM every day. Eventually that became talking on the phone every day. My first time really liking a guy. I looked forward to ending my day talking to him and was always excited to see him randomly at school even though I tried my best not to show it. When we held hands, there was a mixed feeling of comfort and excitement, and to this day, I still distinctly remember the feeling. To me, that was love...the my-heart-skips-a-beat for you kinda love.

Also in high school, I dated someone who was totally polar opposite of me. Everyone saw it, but you know what? Somehow we found common ground...the little things...like a radio station. When I dated him, I smiled when I came into classrooms and he taught me how to appreciate my family. I feel like he is the reason I appreciate my dad. I thought it would last longer than it did. It was my first time crying over a guy. To me, that must have been love...the heart-wrenching-damnit-it-was-supposed-to-work-out kinda love.

In college, I met a guy, a friend of a friend...my first boyfriend. Up until then, I never put must effort into a relationship because I didn't think it could last. He was the first guy I believed that..."hey, it might work out." We were both first-born children, both raised by our grandmas as our parents went to work, both Berkeley students...a lot in common. He took me on adventures and traveled with me to places that I've never been to. With him, I knew no bounds...and I was willing to wait for him for however long it took for him to want to be with me. It was the first time I told a guy that I loved him. It was the first time I realized how crazy girls, namely me, are. To me, that was love...the I-will-do-anything-to-be-with-you type of love.

After college, I met a guy in another country...and guess what? I fell "in love" again...a love that surpassed cultural and language barriers. Some type of shocking electric connection...the you-must-be-the-one type of love.

And I feel differently now.

Have I ever been in love? I don't even know how to answer that question.