Washing Dishes

When friends become your family:

When you cook for them, they wash the dishes...and you don't have to dance around and play the "no you don't have to" dance. Courtesy gets cut because the petty and polite mannerisms don't matter. You're family.

I remember in Vietnam, someone telling me I don't have to say thank you because we're friends. I thought about that for a while. It's not that I'm advocating for not thanking and appreciating people. It's the concept that you are very polite to strangers, and you maintain a distance. When you're close, you're more free and frank to do and say as you please and the little things don't matter.

I remember I had 2 friends in college. They would cook for me, and I'd always be doing a sink full of dishes. Hell, they probably just invited me over to do the dishes...one of them at least. haha. But it's cool, because we're family, and he feeds me, so I'm happy to do my part...in doing the dishes.

Treading a Line

I'm treading the line between morality and immorality, although in good consciousness, I know in my heart that I'm clearly on the side of immorality. Society can label it and act like it's ok and it's acceptable as long as 2 parties consent, but in my heart I know that it's not right, not how things are supposed to be. So why keep doing it if it's wrong?

I guess that's the thing about addictions. You can't stop. You fall, you realize it's bad for you, you quit, and then you fall and the cycle starts all over again, over and over like a song on loop playing over and over again.

How I'd Like to Live Life (written Monday, January 05, 2009)

How I'd like to live life

1. Continuously write—to share, to inspire, to transform, to heal.
2. See mistakes not as regrets but as learning experiences.
3. Do things out of love. Love is selfless, serving, sacrificing. “Love makes the world go round.” Love for and from others makes life worth living.
4. Serve others. All great leaders first and foremost sacrifice in service of others.
5. Invest my time in relationships. When I am on my deathbed, I don’t want to be holding onto bank statements or report cards. I want to be bathing in the care of my friends and family. Give people roses when they can still smell them.
6. Appreciate every day. “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” Some people would give anything for just one more day to live, to walk, to breathe, to learn, to love.
7. Travel the world. The world is my playground. Why limit myself only to what I’ve seen when there’s a whole world waiting for me to discover it? Different cultures, peoples, and stories eagerly wait to crush my misconceptions, dissolve my stereotypes, and astound my mind.
8. Never stop learning. I am never too old or too wise to learn. My college professors introduce me to a limited field of knowledge but urge me to aim for the unending horizon of research.
9. Never be ashamed of my circumstances but instead take pride in how I respond to them. Life is like a poker game. We play the cards we are dealt. I hope to have the “strength to accept the things that I can't change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”
10. Never forget to put myself in the shoes of others. "Lives that flash in sunshine, and lives that are born in tears, receive their hue from circumstances." I want to remember that people are not just people and their actions, but a consequence of years of social circumstances as well. Everyone carries at least one secret that would break hearts and if we all remembered that, this place would be a better place.
11. Have the strength to let go. Sometimes attachments are so deeply rooted that it hurts to let go, but the truth has to be accepted and put behind us.
12. Forgive. “If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to when you open your heart.”

Your Personal Legend

My college roommate gave me a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho for Christmas. I've been reciting ideas from it for the last week. I thought I'd share some quotes that really touched me.

"'Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to year for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend...

It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your Personal Legend. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth...To realize one's destiny is a person's only real obligation...And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.'"

"'When people consult me, it's not that I'm reading the future; I am guessing at the future. The future belongs to God, and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity...And God only rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is only for one reason: it's a future that was written so as to be altered.'"

"'The wise men understood that this natural word is only an image and a copy of paradise. The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect. God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of his wisdom...

The desert will give you an understanding of the world; in fact, anything on the face of the earth will do that. You don't even have to understand the desert: all you have to do is contemplate a simple grain of sand, and you will see in it all the marvels of creation....

Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there.'"

"'Even though I complain sometimes,...it's because I'm the heart of a person, and people's hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don't deserve them, or that they'll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren't, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly.

...

'Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.'"

"'Everyone on earth has a treasure that awaits him...We, people's hearts, seldom say much about those treasures, because people no longer want to go in search of them. We speak of them only to children. Later, we simply let life proceed, in its own direction, toward its own fate. But unfortunately, very few follow the path laid out for them--the path to their Personal Legends, and to happiness. Most people see the world as a threatening place, and, because they do, the world turns out, indeed, to be a threatening place.

So, we, their hearts, speak more and more softly. We never stop speaking out, but we begin to hope that our words won't be heard: we don't want people to suffer because they don't follow their hearts...

Because that's what makes a heart suffer most, and hearts don't like to suffer.'"

No Logic

‎"There's really no logic that can completely explain and rationalize any situation that involves feelings." -Tika