Self Challenge

"When you choose to see the world as a classroom, you understand that all experiences are here to teach you something about yourself. And that your life's journey is about becoming more of who you are." -Oprah

Life in the working world quickly becomes monotonous, repetitive. I keep wondering what I'm supposed to be looking forward to? the next day of work?

I have free time. I want to do something with it...something valuable. I want to learn and grow. I want to challenge myself.

On my to-do list:

• See 30 friends in 30 days(non-consecutive): I wanna meet new people and see old friends...friends that I've lost touch with or have only had the opportunity of being acquainted with but never really gotten to know well. I want to focus on my relationships...they're so important but so easily forgotten. "Relationships are the arteries through which God gives us life."
• Cook more (perhaps a new dish every Monday?)
• Do 1 new thing a week (ex: doing a new activity, going to a new place, etc.)
• Run a marathon (in 2011)

Psychology research says if you write it down and tell your friends about it, you feel more accountable for it and you're more likely to do it.

I'll keep you posted.

Love Series Part 3: Loves, likes, crushes, and the like...

"In the end, it'll be ok. If it's no ok, then it's not the end."

This quote has gotten me through a lotta bad days.

I have felt like I was so in love with someone that I couldn't see myself being with anyone else. I have felt like someone was "the one." I have felt like there was such a magical chemistry that surpasses language, cultural, physical boundaries. I have felt like I would do anything for someone. I have felt like I would sacrifice a lot to be with someone. I have felt like I needed to be with someone. I have felt like I've liked someone forever and a half to the point of stupidity.

And this feeling...it comes and it goes. It feels strong, but I know it comes and goes, and I don't take it so seriously anymore. I'll recover, I'll heal, and I know it.

Funny how serious something could have seemed at the time could be such a minute thing in life now. When I was younger, everything was so much more dramatic...so much more magnified. I thought I was gonna like my middle school crush forever...for the rest of my life. Crazy youngin I was.

But in reality, loves, likes, crushes, and the like...they come and they go.

The beauty of the human mind is that as strongly as we feel about something, we forget. Time passes by, things fade away, and we forget...that is, if we choose to...if we choose to move on and not dwell on what has been or could have been...if we look to what could be and what will be. The truth is things will get better if you let them...so let go. Go out there and meet new people, explore new places, do new activities and let go. Don't take life so seriously.

I believe there is no one you can live without...if you want to...if you make the active choice to. Time passes by, you meet new people, and you recover and life will be ok. It'll be ok in the end. :-)

Love Series Part 2: Does love last forever?

I always ask people if love lasts forever. My mom says it does not...she says you can love someone for a period of time and feel like you could do anything for them and then not feel that way afterwards.

I look at divorces very curiously because I always think to myself that despite their shitty relationship right now, this couple that is fighting and arguing all the time...they were once "in love"...madly and deeply in love. They once believed in a lifetime together, they once envisioned a forever together, a marriage that would last the rest of their lives.

I always ask people that question..."Does love last forever?" I ask so I can hear what they say and why they say it, but I already have my own answer. To me, it does...it must...or how else could you distinguish the difference between like and love?

Love Series Part 1: Have you ever been in love before?

"How many times have you been in love?"

My friend answered something along the lines of this: At the time, I thought I was in love every time I said it, but over time, my definition of love has changed. Now looking back, I've really only been in love once.

Funny this concept of romantic love.

In middle school, I had a big crush on this guy. I looked forward to chatting with him on AIM everyday. I felt like I could confide in him and he made me laugh. Because of him, I looked forward to school and looked forward to going home. To me, that was love...the you're-the-reason-I-live-and-go-to-school type of love.

In high school, I met an older guy and chatted with him over AIM every day. Eventually that became talking on the phone every day. My first time really liking a guy. I looked forward to ending my day talking to him and was always excited to see him randomly at school even though I tried my best not to show it. When we held hands, there was a mixed feeling of comfort and excitement, and to this day, I still distinctly remember the feeling. To me, that was love...the my-heart-skips-a-beat for you kinda love.

Also in high school, I dated someone who was totally polar opposite of me. Everyone saw it, but you know what? Somehow we found common ground...the little things...like a radio station. When I dated him, I smiled when I came into classrooms and he taught me how to appreciate my family. I feel like he is the reason I appreciate my dad. I thought it would last longer than it did. It was my first time crying over a guy. To me, that must have been love...the heart-wrenching-damnit-it-was-supposed-to-work-out kinda love.

In college, I met a guy, a friend of a friend...my first boyfriend. Up until then, I never put must effort into a relationship because I didn't think it could last. He was the first guy I believed that..."hey, it might work out." We were both first-born children, both raised by our grandmas as our parents went to work, both Berkeley students...a lot in common. He took me on adventures and traveled with me to places that I've never been to. With him, I knew no bounds...and I was willing to wait for him for however long it took for him to want to be with me. It was the first time I told a guy that I loved him. It was the first time I realized how crazy girls, namely me, are. To me, that was love...the I-will-do-anything-to-be-with-you type of love.

After college, I met a guy in another country...and guess what? I fell "in love" again...a love that surpassed cultural and language barriers. Some type of shocking electric connection...the you-must-be-the-one type of love.

And I feel differently now.

Have I ever been in love? I don't even know how to answer that question.

The Meaning of Life

I think there must be more to life than this. Our lives are like a gust of wind. We are born and with certainty, we will die. Another day we live is another day we are closer to dying.

Then I keep wondering, what is the purpose of life if we live only a few decades at most? We all die, and most of us are forgotten. I cannot live forever, so I focus on the things that can continue. I want to contribute to things that will continue to grow, something that will last. I want to give back to the community. I want to produce positive change in the lives of others or promote change in organizations I'm involved with.