Dear Tim,
It's been a few months since we last spoke. I didn't realize that we'd never get to talk again. I found out last week. I visited Nor Cal the weekend before you passed and I neglected to call. I thought that my weekend was so crunched with events that we could always hang out another time, but we will never get that chance.
The thing that I'll miss the most about you was that you always made me feel like I mattered. I was one out of several thousand Cal students, one who just needed any job to pay for rent, and against all odds, I got a job walking people home at night. I got to meet you, my boss, but you were more than just a boss, you were a mentor to me, and for that, I'll truly miss you. You always reminded me that I was smart, a fast learner, with a "good head on my shoulders." You told me that I was one of your favorites at work, and to be honest, I never understood why. I didn't say too much and I definitely wasn't a dominant personality in the program. I didn't think I did much to leave any impression.
However, despite what I thought, you made it clear that I was a somebody, and you never stopped making an effort with me. You were the only supervisor/manager/boss I've ever had that has made an effort with me even after I stopped working for you, the only one to still call me when you came to Southern CA, the only one to always make time for me whenever I visit Nor Cal, the only one to Facebook message me just to see how I'm doing, and the only one to leave me a long voicemail when you knew my friend passed away.
I'll miss your Facebook messages and your long responses about your life and your numerous interesting (but long) stories that you always shared with me when we met up. You were never shy to open up about your past or your present, as crazy as the stories were, and I learned a lot from you. I never expressed how much I appreciated that you cared about me and cared to share your life lessons with me, and I'm sure I'm just one of many many lives you've touched. Thank you for all your love and care.
-Jennifer Pham #196
“And when he died, I suddenly realized I wasn’t crying for him at all,
but for the things he did. I cried because he would never do them again,
he would never carve another piece of wood or help us raise doves and
pigeons in the backyard or play the violin the way he did, or tell us
jokes the way he did. He was part of us and when he died, all the
actions stopped dead and there was no one to do them the way he did. He
was individual. He was an important man. I’ve never gotten over his
death. Often I think what wonderful carvings never came to birth because
he died. How many jokes are missing from the world, and how many homing
pigeons untouched by his hands? He shaped the world. He did things to
the world. The world was bankrupted of ten million fine actions the
night he passed on.”
―
Ray Bradbury,
Fahrenheit 451
